Saturday, May 7, 2011

Babe of the Biweekly: Everyone in the new Beastie Boys video

Welcome back to Babe of the Biweekly, the far from biweekly section where I like to talk about my semi strange crushes on old men, ugly weirdos and the like. This week, I bring you the most babe infused 30 minutes (or 5 if you prefer the shortened version) of your/my life via the Beastie Boys' video for their new single "Make Some Noise."

The self-mocking parody mini movie has Elijah Wood (childhood crush babe) playing Ad-Rock (bad ass Jew babe), Seth Rogen (formerly fat Jew babe) playing Mike D (semi babe) and Danny McBride (ok, non babe) playing MCA (skinny/survivor babe) and just about everyone from Jason Schwartzman (big-nosed Jew megababe) to Steve Buscemi (ugly weirdo babe), Ted Danson (silver fox babe), Orlando Bloom (obvious babe), Will Arnett (another obvious and also hilarious Gob-playing Toronto-born babe), David Cross (not really a babe but also Tobias Funke so all in all, babe) to Chloë Sevigny (ultimate girl crush babe) playing absurd bit parts.

Elijah Wood being in this little bit is especially tantalizing to me considering that I used to have the largest size pre-Frodo crush on him EVER from like grade 3-5. Like trading his posters for ones of J.T.T became what I was known and well liked for. (Those girls were idiots though, like how could this not give them a lady-boner? Zo zexy!) I saw him a few years ago at a gallery opening in New York and totally skeeved him out by telling him he was my first boyfriend. But hey, grade 4 was calling.

Elijah Wood as Ad-Rock. Babe x2.
Steve Buscemi as the angry curmudgeony waiter.Ted Danson as the host. The silver babealicious host.
Chloë Sevigny as an LSD'd-up groupie.
Will Arnett as the Wall Streeter.

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