Friday, May 29, 2009

How To Dress Like: Grace Jones

Grace Jones’ intensely angular cheekbones and robotic island voice may have been a club culture force in the 80’s, but her fashion freak flag is what I personally like to think of as her best asset (other than her 5’11 statuesque bod that is…) On and off-stage, Grace found some sort of balance between techno, tribal and disco...and you’ve gotta love her for that.

I'm going to attempt to break down one of Grace's most cracktastic looks...

Step 1. Keith Haring isn’t available for body painting anymore so you’ll need the next best thing – I’d suggest getting a bit tipsy with your best Katie Gal and have her draw some majorly swirly and large lines all over your arms and legs. (kind of like when Tracy Jordan draws a tattoo on his face with washable crayolas in the first season of 30 Rock)

Step 2. Make sure you have some skivvies on and your most Madonna/Gaultier-esque bra!

Step 3. Find out where you can get some wiring. Anything that’s bendy. This would be a positive way of recycling the land line you no longer use...

Step 4. Twirl and twist them as many times as you can...and then glue them to your underwear and bra. And while you might like playing with craft glue, you might need something a bit more severe...

Step 5. Got any old shmatas lying around that you are okay with getting rid of? Cut and rip these puppies to shreds...

Step 6. Feel free to braid, tape, entangle, color the shreds...anything really! Now hang and droop them onto your undies, anywhere and everywhere!

Step 7. Now, enlist your 1st grade cousin to make a headdress for you. It doesn't really matter what it looks like – more is more! (But hey, if they happen to
have recently completed a unit on Natives and/or
totem poles...that might work to your advantage...)

Step 8. Cut a branch off the first pine tree you can find and proceed to picky pick! (I know it might get sticky but it smells great!)

Step 9. Now take some of those candies that look like little bananas and bead them onto the pines (I mean, I'd never get this's just too much work...) - if you can get some sort of jewellery piece out of this you are a genius!

Et voila! Tribal boogie freak chic!

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